I am getting myself in a bit of a tizz about Christmas. We are on the verge of booking a BIG trip in November, a real once in a lifetime kind of thing, that will involve spending C.A.S.H and so Christmas will be a budget affair.
And we’re absolutely fine with that because this trip is the kind of thing we would normally talk ourselves out of, would be prudent about. I would put my much slogged for, hard earned bonus into savings and then inevitably something would break and we’d end up spending it on a Fridge Freezer or a Washing Machine. For once we don’t want to do that and I think we’re going to bloody not do it, because you can live your whole life not doing things, finding reasons to say no, and then feeling disappointed about the opportunities you didn’t take.
And so I am planning that this Christmas will be a home-made affair rather than anything flush. And I am in quite the giddy spin about it. I am all feverish enthusiasm tinged with mildly insane eyes. I have gone to town on Nigella’s Christmas book with a pack of post-it notes, picking out jams and preserves and boozy treats that I will lovingly create over the next three months. The house is full of sterilised jam jars, antipasti jars, spice pots and any other glass thing I can present my wares in.
I was already quite in raptures about the whole thing and then a clever crafty friend told me she would dig out the recipes for home-made bath bombs and Epsom salt candles, and that tipped me over the edge. I am now verging on beside myself. I have set out this Thursday evening as my planning evening. I have the bare bones of a planning spreadsheet in place, where I shall record what I will make each week in the run up to Christmas, and the ingredients I will need, and ideas for nifty ways to present everything. I am starting to search for baggage tags and ribbon and pens and stickers and all other sorts of crap on ebay and Amazon and notonthehighstreet and on and on and on. I have re-loaded Pinterest onto the iPad.
Pinterest. There it is – the word that suggests this can only go one way – downhill. I am so excited and enthusiastic about it all, but at the back of my mind is the sense that the whole thing is doomed. Because while I have lovely intentions and can create wonderful, romantic visions of my home-made Christmas set to the backdrop of snow and crackling log fires and Downton Abbey, the reality is I AM NOT CRAFTY. I wasn’t even allowed to use a glue gun at school. I swallowed a paper clip in Year 5. I’m a disaster. I’d come to terms with this and hadn’t dabbled in anything crafty for quite some time and then I found out about Pinterest. And we had a little flirtation so we did. I was quite convinced I was going to be one of these brilliant Pinterest Mummies who fill their children’s lives with amazing crafty things and bake healthy cookies. But 2 months in and what Pinterest had became was a way to perv on Tom Hiddleston, Ryan Gosling and Rachel Bilson’s style. And so we parted company – a worthy reminder to myself that crafts and I can only combust.
And now Pinterest is back and I am all agog with home-made Christmas wonder! I am about to embark on the mother of all home-made Christmas present missions! So please forgive me, lovely friends of mine, for whatever happens this Christmas. Please know my limitations. You have chosen to be friends with an idiot, or have at least accepted me as I’ve clawed my way into your lives. Know that whatever tat that is thrown your way this December has been lovingly (but poorly) crafted from the heart. That I have made it with love and Christmas cheer. And if you follow me on Pinterest, apologies in advance for the Benedict Cumberbatch overload that will no doubt be coming your way as I try to work out why I find someone with such odd nostrils attractive.
dazedandmumfused is on Twitter @dazednmumfused and Instagram: dazedandmumfused