Today is (not) the day: Weds 8th October 2014

This blog comes to you from the bath, where I have retired with my shark showercap to reflect on the events of today. It has not been a catastrophic day by any stretch of the imagination, but there have been a few hiccups.

A book club runs every month at work and I participated in this month’s, reading a book called The Chimp Paradox, which you may or may not have heard of. Opinion was pretty divided about it at today’s Review meeting, but I’ve found it pretty helpful. I might write a separate blog about it along the line.

Anyway, we were talking about the concept that every day you should work towards one thing that makes you happy, and a Colleague talked about her Sister’s approach to life which is to imagine the absolutely worst outcome to any scenario, so that she is prepared for it and anything above it is a win. I think that’s a fairly depressing way to frame each and every day of your life, but it did make me review today’s nonsense afresh. Today was actually a funny series of cock-ups, which is an area in which we know I excel. And you all seem to like reading about such things and writing about them makes me happy – so there’s that, and then there’s the perspective that if tomorrow is slightly less silly I can near-as-damit rule it a triumph. If not, I can at least raise a few smiles.

Today started at 3.15am. Blake is going through a little phase of waking up and being WIDE AWAKE at this time and for the subsequent hour or so. We tag team it and so it’s not been hugely disruptive to our sleep, but this morning’s wide-awake-ungodly-hour was served up with a dose of hearty coughing. Now I’m sure all the Mums out there know already that there is a BLOODY MAGIC trick you can do that will help in about 50% of cases with coughs, which is to smear a hefty dose of Vicks rub on the soles of your child’s feet, bang on a pair of socks and leave them to it. Often this does the trick, somehow soothing the cough. So that was the option I plumped for in my sleep-addled state at 3.30am, and it did indeed do the trick. What it also allowed me to do was wipe a healthy portion of Vicks into my eye as I rubbed my palms into my eye-sockets like the sleepy toddler I regress to at such times, having forgotten to clean my hands. And here I can divulge another truth. Bloody magic on feet. Bloody painful in the eyes.

And then the M5/M6, an uninspiring bit of motorway at best, has proffered up ample opportunities to acknowledge its grim grey scenery this week by being slow-moving at best and gridlocked at worst. With the choice of my route to work being gridlock or magical mystery tour of the Black Country in the pissing rain, I opted for the latter. Let’s be honest, it’s not an option that would have encouraged Wordsworth to leap from the earth and pen a lyric, and it was topped off by a rain beleaguered pedestrian walking straight into my path at a junction, helping me to master the art of emergency stopping and biting my tongue in tandem.

It’s been raining today, did you notice? Did I mention it? We have a couple of different buildings at work meaning we trot across the carpark periodically to attend meetings. This is really no chore – gets you away from your desk, burns a few calories and is do-able in the teeming rain thanks to Management having the foresight to have placed an umbrella-holding-receptacle holding copious umbrellas in the main entrance to each building, allowing us to grab and dump brollies around site as we wish. A great move, unless you are a moron in which case you might like to work towards any or all of the following:
1. Forgetting the swipe pass that gains you entrance to all buildings and not having the foresight to think the fact that the sky is black as coal might mean rain is imminent. Finding yourself exposed in the middle of the carpark as the heavens open with no brolly and no way of getting into any building until another Colleague arrives and swipes you in with them.
2. Having the foresight to grab a brolly, but getting it tangled up in some railings and nearly dislocating your shoulder in the untangling process.
3. Again, grabbing a brolly (CLEVER MORON) but being so caught up in humming ‘Singing in the Rain’ that you walk straight into the biggest puddle going, leaving you with a soggy trouser leg and squelchy shoe for several hours.

On the subject of shoes, managing the possibly unprecedented task of losing one shoe in your own car. The success of finding said shoe, hidden deep under the car seat, tainted slightly by the act of toppling forward into the footwell whilst reaching for rogue shoe and balancing (unsuccessfully) on the heel of the shoe you could find.

For bonus points, I am growing, two days in advance of a rare night out, a humongous spot on my forehead which may well be an act of rebellion by my brain as it tries to escape from the clutches of its moron keeper.

So that’s it then – a day where I have been quite the idiot. Here’s hoping it drew a wry smile from you. Writing about it has amused me at the very least.

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dazedandmumfused is on Twitter @dazednmumfused and Instagram: dazedandmumfused

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