Photos

On Monday we fly to Singapore. Spicy nuggets Batman, Singa-freakin-pore. We never do stuff like this, we are ordinarily really rather dull. But for once we’re going for it, and PRAYING that Blake copes with 13 hours on a plane and jet lag and humidity.

And I am resolute about one thing (aside from attempting to not have a packing induced breakdown or freaking out totally as I watch my toddler’s bedtime routine slip away as our plane takes off from Heathrow). We are going to photograph the shizzle out of these ten days.

We could not be more useless when it comes to photos. We bought a fairly decent camera, on the recommendation of our brilliant Wedding Photographer, for our Honeymoon and we got some great pictures. Look:

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And then we came home, put the camera away and did not get it out again until Blake was born at which point we took approximately three photos of him and then I clobbered James square in the face with it. I bent down to take Blake from him having forgotten (there was a lot of forgetting going on at that point thanks to the total absence of sleep from our lives) that the camera was around my neck and would do as gravity bid it and swing forward straight into my poor husband’s forehead.

And really we have barely used it since. I feel horribly guilt that Blake’s childhood to date has been captured in grainy detail on our phones – phone cameras are great when you want to plaster your child all over Facebook, but a bit of a let down when you actually print the pictures off and realise how pixelated (smart arse) they are.

So the camera has been taken out and dusted down and I trotted off into the centre of Birmingham today and bought each and every pack of AA batteries I could find. As family holidays go, this is a pretty unique opportunity for a three year old, and I am determined to make up for my total photographic inadequacy to date by creating a lasting pictorial record of it. Lord I hope that will not be comprised of 700 photos of Blake crying because he was tired, or hot, or decided he did not like rice for the entirety of our stay.

And this leads me briefly to one other topic. Being photogenic. I am not. At all. See:

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How do people do it? My friend Hannah is quite literally the most photogenic person you will ever meet. It verges on disturbing. I do not think a bad photograph has ever been taken of her. I can only imagine how dazzling her Wedding Album must be. She has this innate understanding of how to arrange her face and body in front of the camera without ever looking especially posed or pouty or anything. I do not have this skill. She has tried to teach me but I am the student who flunked the class. My attempts at taking a good photo are comparable to what would happen if you stuck a Giraffe in a New Look dress and asked it to pose. Awful. Look:

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This is upsetting because I am conscious that there are not many pictures of Blake and I together. This is generally because I am the one wielding the iPhone. There was an advert a while back that talked about that – how it’s always the Mum’s feet or shadow in the photo, but rarely the full person. I would like to be in more photos with my Son, and I will try to facilitate that this holiday (probably by thrusting the camera at my Husband and screeching TAKE A PHOTO HONEY, BLAKE SMILE.)

I know the results will be far from photogenic on my part (Blake luckily IS photogenic) but I would love for us to look back at those photos and remember our 10 days in a place a world away and smile, even if Mummy does look like a wally.

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P.s don’t expect I’ll be doing much, if any, blogging for the next 2 weeks. But, as I chant at the end of each blog, dazedandmumfused is on Twitter @dazednmumfused and Instagram: dazedandmumfused, so if my phone co-operates out there maybe I’ll share a photo of my hair, which will no doubt turn into an Afro in the humidity. See (blog?) you soon!

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