Open disclaimer: I have never been particularly cool, in basically every respect but particularly when it comes to music.
However, even I can see that of late, my taste in music has gone batshit (sorry Mum) insane.
Is this a thing that happens when one has children? With the delivering of the placenta so too goes ones hold on the sort of music one likes? Any grasping control over musical genres? Even, I must admit, any real awareness of the stuff one is listening so that all of a sudden, with a dawning of consciousness, one finds oneself standing in the middle of the Kitchen singing ones heart out to something one suddenly realises is not fitting with one’s former tastes.
I have kept a little log of the stuff I have hummed to myself today, in some cases with my unique interpretation of the lyrics.
Here it is:
Ohohohohohohhhhhhh. Ohohohohohohhhhhhh. I saw you wat-ching me un-der the lights, can I get a pi-i-i-ii-iiiiiieeeeeeeeee.
He has te-ri-ble TUSKS, and ter-ri-ble CLAWS, and ter-ri-ble TEETH in his ter-ri-ble JAWS, he’s the GRRRRRR-RRRRRRR-RRRRRR-RRRRRRR-UFFALO.
Saw off all my stinking Jims, pop dripping down my sunken monkey chin! (p.s SUCH delightful lyrics from Everything Everything, that I cannot bring myself to sing or write them)
NOW THEN MARDYBUM. I’VE SEEN YOUR FROWN AND IT’S LIKE LOOKING DOWN THE BARREL OF A GUN.
Bong bing bang! Bing bong bing! Bing bong bingity bangity booooo. (I don’t even care that it’s wrong lyrically. I don’t care)
EVERYBODY WANTS TO STEAL THAT GU-U-UUURL, EVERYBODY WANTS TO TAKE HER HEART AWAY.
Cos Baby, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream. SO IT’S GONNA BE FOREVER, OR IT’S GONNA GO DOWN IN FLAMES (just like my taste in music)
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade ooooooooooooooout agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain
Various renditions of the Pitch Perfect soundtrack HAAAAAAAAANDS UP! LET ME SEE YO HAAAAAAAAAAAANDS UP!
Maaaaaaaaaaybeeeeeee, we aaaaaaaaa-a-aaaaaaa-aare, we aaaaaaaaaa-aaaaa-aaaaaaa-aaaare, maybe I’m wasting my young years.
There was also some embarrassing-Mum-head-nodding to Kanye West in the car on the way home which was frankly the biggest shock of the month.
So I have travelled, like a radio that’s going through its troubled teenage phase and trying to find itself, from the vaguely credible to the ridiculous.
I am not really sure how this happened – how One Direction and Taylor Swift invaded my consciousness and made me know all of their lyrics, but I am dealing with it pretty well. Perhaps it is just a thing that happens. My music taste has gone renegade, has crept up on me and flicked the Vs and actually I’m flicking them right back. I’m not sure I really care.
dazedandmumfused is on Twitter @dazednmumfused and Instagram: dazedandmumfused