Life with a small child is essentially a life divided into phases. The Not-Sleeping phase. The Not-Eating phase. The Clingy phase. The Postman-Pat phase. The Not-Sleeping-Again phase. You get the gist.
Right now we are in the midst of three phases.
1. The Insult phase. More on this to follow as it’s proving popular over on Facebook.
2. The Phase of Hidden Objects. Currently missing in action: one TV remote, one Boden catalogue (just reclaimed from Dishwasher), 2 library books and a wooden fish.
3. A phase that will be so familiar to so many – The Phase of Why. Right now, we cannot get through 10 minutes without the word why. Blake is now in the inquisitive pre-schooler zone and would like to know the meaning of the world, the universe and Bananas.
Here’s a selection of some of our finer Why conversations to date.
‘Why is Blake eating raisins Mummy?’
‘Because you asked for some sweetheart.’
‘Because you wanted them?’
‘Because you like them?’
‘Well… What’s not to look about small wrinkly things?’
‘Yes. What’s not to like about small winkies.’
‘Why has that lady got a beard like Daddy Mummy?’
‘Good morning Mummy.’
‘Morning sweetheart. Mummy is just going to jump in the shower.’
‘Why are you jumping in the shower? You are so heavy Mummy, you will break it.’
‘Well, I just meant I’m going to have a Shower.’
‘Well, I have a Shower every morning.’
‘Why? *pause* OH I KNOW. Because you are very very smelly.’
*Sings to self in Kitchen*
*Blake shouts from lounge* ‘Why are you making that noise Mummy?’
‘That’s me singing sweetheart.’
‘Mummy likes to sing.’
‘I do not love your singing Mummy.’
‘Why do you not have a winky Mummy?’
‘Because I am a girl.’
‘Poor Mummy with no winky.’
dazedandmumfused is on Twitter @dazednmumfused and Instagram: dazedandmumfused