We interrupt this blog to bring you a recipe: 13.4.16

If you have a child who is prone to fussiness when presented with food, might I suggest the little beauty that is EGG FRIED RICE.

EFR is going down a freaking storm in our house at the moment and it blends the holy grail of pre-school nutrition: protein, carbohydrate and vegetables.

It is also, as an aside, what catnip is to cats for any grown men in the household. James only needs to scent the slightest whiff of EFR to materialise within an instant in the kitchen, with a bowl and grasping hands like a grown Oliver Twist, murmuring ‘please Wife, can I have some more?’

Anyway, back to the recipe.

It is really really piss simple is EFR, which is another reason for it being so universally adored by our family. This recipe is a cobbled together hybrid of various takes on it that I have tried over the years, so I probably need to credit it to multiple sources. I imagine good old Annabel Karmel is in there, and maybe Abel and Cole and probably a couple of jolly Pinteresters, so two thumbs up to you all.

You should dig out the following:

A carrot
An egg
A bunch of spring onions. Probably droopy if our house is anything to go by
Frozen peas
Basmati rice
Soy sauce

In all honesty, I imagine you can chuck whatever veg you like into this (Grated courgette? Baby corn? Chopped sugar snaps? GO WILD) and it’ll work, this is just the failsafe with Blake.

Chop up your spring onions as finely as you can safely do. I would definitely recommend picking a big duck-off knife to do this and muttering to yourself under your breath in a poor french accent for bonus fun points.

Peel and top and tail the carrot, and then grate it. I’ve probably done the grate-ones-own-finger-like-a-moron gag on the blog before, but it goes without saying that I will shave a layer of skin off my thumb and end up sporting a Spiderman plaster in the grating process.

Crash a frying pan onto the hob, slop in some oil and warm it through.

Crash a small saucepan onto the hob, fill with water and set to boil.

Gently fry the carrot and spring onion. You want this to cook nice and quietly, like a good boy, whilst you’re cooking the rice so for goodness sake keep the heat low otherwise you will burn it to buggery.

Measure out a child’s Ikea cup of rice and pour into your boiling water with a glug of oil to prevent it clumping together like a rice-meteorite. Cook for however long it states (12 mins?) and then drain.

By this point your veg should be soft. Crank the heat up a little and chuck your rice into the veg pan. You want it to sizzle and pop. Fry it for a couple of minutes.

Sling in however many frozen peas you fancy. Stir stir stir until they’re cooked through.

Crack your egg into a little bowl and whisk it up with a fork. More French accent silliness.

Push your rice and veg to the side of the pan to create a well in the centre and tip your egg into this. Let it cook through, like a little mis-shapen eggy island in a sea of rice goodness. Then stir it through the rice – the act of doing this should break it up into little pieces.

Last but crucially, whack in some soy sauce and stir to mix. I have no clear guidance on quantity – maybe a tablespoon – but I would say not to be too pre-occupied by it. I allowed myself to be totally distracted by Blake flinging mud at the Conservatory window the other day and turned my rice brown due to the quantity of soy I’d inadvertently glugged in, and Blake and James still shovelled it down like it was the tastiest thing I’d ever conjured.

Serve it up in little bowls. Blake, bizarrely, is a massive fan of Salmon at the moment so I tend to bake a fillet while I’m doing the rice and flake this in with it. You could also add chicken for an additional protein hit, or even prawns if your child is a total maverick.

And if you’re cooking this for adults, or your child has a taste for such things, I don’t think you’d go far wrong adding in some chilli and ginger at the veg frying stage.

All totally do-able in 30 minutes. Smashing.

Dazed and Mumfused is on Twitter @dazednmumfused, Instagram: dazedandmumfused and Facebook: facebook.com/dazedandmumfused

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