Public Service Announcement

If you are a new or expectant parent of a baby boy, this announcement is for you. I’m sorry if I offend anyone’s sensibilities with this, but this blog is nothing if not honest and here is a warts ‘n’ all part of parenting a boy child that I do feel it is important you are made aware of early.

ERECTIONS.

Little boys get them.  FAR EARLIER THAN YOU WILL HAVE BEEN PREPARED FOR.

You have to accept with a boy that there will most likely be a fairly grubby early-to-mid teen period where you won’t be wanting to dig through their bedside drawers or pick up any dirty laundry without wearing surgical gloves. But what you should know is that early on in their little life, probably whilst changing a nappy, you will find yourself face-to-flipping-face with a tiny erection.

Just get  your head around it now. They have been popping up (literally) here for well over 2 years I reckon, and if someone had warned me I suspect I would have reacted slightly better than I did.

Because here is the second part of this PSA.

JUST. DON’T. FREAK. OUT.

The chances are that if you do any or all of the following – shriek  / squeak / swat frantically at it with a baby wipe / bellow with laughter, you will do that thing that we all know we shouldn’t do as parents. You will reinforce it. You will lay all the foundations for the lesson that an erection is a thing your boy child should celebrate. And you will have no-one but yourself to blame for the fact that your child will quite regularly waddle into a room with their trousers and pants around their ankles, wiggling their hips and pointing animatedly at their bits whilst howling like a wolf. Admittedly the wolf thing may just be my child, and it is not just reserved for celebrating his erectile function but is used regularly and with glee throughout the day. He’ll love reading this when he’s older I’m sure.

So prepare yourself now, parents of boys. Erections are on the horizon for you. Be cool. Don’t be an idiot like me.

dazedandmumfused is on Twitter @dazednmumfused, Instagram: dazedandmumfused and Facebook: facebook.com/dazedandmumfused

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